Tadaima
by Kylara
Summary: Near the end - Naraku is wrapping things up, the Shikon no Tama is complete. Kagome and Inu Yasha do nothing but fight for their lives, and Kagome’s mother watches as her daughter comes closer to death. What do you do when all you *can* do is watch?
1. Prologue

Standard Disclaimer Applies.  Written by Kylara.

~

Tadaima – Prologue

~

"It's ending soon."

  
"I know."

"Are you worried?"

"Not for myself."

"Then who?"

"You.  You'll never know how sorry I am.  Sorry for being unable to shove a teenage girl down a well, for her own good, just because _I _need her."

"You couldn't keep me anywhere or from anyplace that I didn't want to be.  Just - don't think of sending me home."

"And why the hell not?"

"Would you force me to stay there, now?"

"If it would keep you alive, I would do anything."

"You have such little faith in my protector."

"…"

"…I would like to go home, though.  For just a little while."

"…Why?"

"…So I won't have any regrets.  So I _don't_ have any regrets."

"You won't need any damn regrets.  Your 'hopeless' protector won't let you die."

"And would I be happy if 'my protector' did that?  I won't let you – I won't let you defend me at the cost of your life.  I'd rather die myself."

"Too bad for you, 'cause it ain't gonna happen."

"…I'm still going home.  Just to say what needs to be said.  And you'll let me, because I would cry if you didn't."

"You're crying now."

"I know."

The despair and cold swathed around them, the emotions pieced together from the same material as the Grim Reaper's cloak.  For the two, there was no defense, and there was no fighting back.  There was only the despondency of death, suffocating them in all of its supremacy and in all of its vulnerability.  In the midst of it, Kagome buried her face in Inu Yasha's shoulder, clutching onto him with all her strength, tears flowing down her face in an endless stream.  He let her cry, not making a single movement to halt it.  But when the tears stopped, he held onto her - tightly enough to make another rip in her ragged, thin shirt, and it was both of them that were comforted.

When morning came, they prepared very quickly to leave.  She swung on her heavy pack, and he carried her, easily, to the well.  She swung her long legs over the side, resting them against the side.  She was tired.  She looked up at him - his eyes golden and moody, hers cloudy and sad.

"…I'll be back.  Very soon, I think.  This can't take long.  Don't go after him without me.  You can't do this without me, but don't even think of it.  We'll deal with him and the Shikon no Tama when I come back.  For the last time, _we'll _deal with him."

"You don't need to go.  Home, I mean," he added hurriedly when she glared at him.

"Yes, I do.  I need to go very much."

"What is your mother going to say?  Are you going to explain this to her?"

"…I don't know."

" Then your brother?  Your grandfather?"

"…I don't know."

"Gods, Kagome, what the hell are you trying to do, then?  You can't just tell them cheerfully, 'Sayonara!  I'm going off to fight an evil _hanyou_ that's trying to kill me, my friends, and then send what's left of us to hell.  I think my chances of living are pretty damn fucking low, even though Inu Yasha keeps telling me he won't let that happen, but hell - I just want to make you worry anyway.'"

"Inu Yasha, I would never curse like that."

            
"Kagome, you know what I mean!"

"…You won't _let _me die.  How selfish, Inu Yasha.  Won't you let me say that _I_ won't – _can't_ – let you die?  Because no matter what, I won't let you die."

Silence.

"…I'm going, Inu Yasha, because I don't know what they would do if I… for some reason… didn't.  If I never came home from the Sengoku Jidai, and they were just always waiting for me, wondering where I was, wondering if I died, wondering if I forgot.  I can't do that to them, Inu Yasha."

He paused, then reached a claw forward, holding the shining, full orb that was hanging loosely around her neck.  He glared at it, fingered it, and then dropped it, letting it shine against her pale neck.  She looked up at him questioningly.

"It causes nothing but devastation.  Because of it, you might die.   Without it, you would always live, but I would have never known you, or the other woman I loved."

"That's all I ever wanted to hear, Inu Yasha."

And she vanished from where he could see her, where he could have her scent, where he could hear her footsteps, from where he could have her.

~  
  
That prologue was a very simple way of setting up the scene.  If you've noticed, Kagome and Inu Yasha seem to be 'a couple'.  In this story, they've already gotten past whatever lovely complications that brought them together as it is.  Perhaps I'll write them some day, but I'm content for now.  The next chapter is actually the entire story, and is written in a completely different style than this.  In fact, the only reason I have this is because otherwise, I would've posted a very long author's note explaining the set-up, and no one wants to read that.  However, that will be posted eventually.  It adds some other details, too.


	2. Tadaima: Section I - Tadaima

Before hand, I apologize for the photo album scene – yes, it's clichéd, but I _really _had to add it in.  ^_^

  
Standard Disclaimer Applies

-

Tadaima – by Kylara.

Section I: Tadaima

-

The sound of the shoji being rudely shoved to the side reached me.  "Mama!  Tadaimaaaaaaa!  Is Kagome-nee-chan back yet?" called out a youthful, decidedly boyish voice: Souta, my bright, funny little son.

Looking up from my paperwork, I called out, "Okaeri nasai, Souta!  No, Kagome isn't back yet.  Do you want a snack?"

Souta dashed into the room, throwing himself onto the sofa next to me with a soft thump.  "That'd be great, Mama!  Are you sure she isn't home yet?  She said she'd be home for sure this week!"

Reaching out a hand, I patted him on the head, smoothing back his ruffled black hair.  "No, Souta, I'm sure she's not here yet.  Now, what do you want: an apple, or an orange?  I also just happen-to-have takoyaki, too."

An unrestrained, innocent, and ecstatic grin lit up Souta's face.  I chuckled - it's so easy to make a child's day, especially when he's hungry and you're his eternal supply of food.  "Takoyaki!  I _love_ takoyaki!  Yay!" he yelled, and then vanished like smoke into the kitchen.  I looked briefly at my papers from the office.  Oh, they could live without me tending to it for twenty minutes.  Setting them on the table, I stood up and dusted off my skirt.  

I walked into the kitchen to see Souta already pulling out two plates and a bundle of napkins, along with two forks.  "Ah, Souta, I'm not going to be having any…" I said, smiling down at him.

He looked up at me, eyes wide with surprise.  "I know that!" he exclaimed, with the presumptuous air of the 'all-knowing'.  "You never eat takoyaki.  I'm setting this out for Kagome-nee-chan.  If she comes home today, and finds out I ate takoyaki without her, she'll never forgive me.  Besides, Kagome-nee-chan would like it if we prepared stuff for her.  She's been kind of down whenever she comes home lately, don't you think, Mama?"

How perceptive.  I reach a hand over and ruffle his hair again.  "Yes, Souta.  It was very good of you think of that.  But, I already set aside some for her, okay?" He nods, accepting the information easily.  Souta is such an easy-going kid – slightly wimpy at times, but I'm sure he gets that from me.  I used to worry that he wouldn't be a happy kid, since he doesn't have a father, but he's such a wonderful boy, I know that he's okay.  As for my daughter, Kagome was very young when her beloved father passed away, but she told me once that what she remembers of him is enough happiness for the rest of her life.  She seems to be happy enough without him, that's true enough.

Of course, when she told me that, she was scarcely six – not old enough to know exactly what 'rest of my life' really means.  

"Moshi-mooooshi, Mama?  Mama?  Are you listening, Mama?"  Jolted out of my trance, I looked over at my son, who was tugging on my sleeve anxiously. "Where did you put the takoyaki?  I can get it out for you!"  I pointed wordlessly at the refrigerator, where he walked over and pulled out a white food carton.  He neatly popped it open, counted them quickly, set out six for himself, popped one in his mouth cold, and then stuck the rest in the microwave oven to heat up.

Since he obviously didn't need me for the moment, I walked over to a cupboard, and pulled out two glass cups.  I filled both halfway with ice, and to mine, I added water, but to Souta's, I added cola.  I then sat down at the table, setting his glass across from mine.  He sat down next to me, holding a now-steaming plate of takoyaki in one hand, and wielding a pair of chopsticks in the other.  Souta quickly shoved one in his mouth, and swallowed – he might have chewed, but I highly doubt it.

"Ne, Mama?" he said.  He had an innocently pensive expression on his face.  Looking at him, I smiled warmly.  "Hai, Souta?"

"Do you know what's upsetting Nee-chan these days?" he asked, a worried look coloring his expression.  I tightened my hands around the cup, feeling the coldness seep into my fingers.  "What do you mean, Souta?" I replied lightly. 

He frowned at his plate.  "Mama, you know what I mean.  She barely comes home these days, and whenever she does, she barely stays, because Inu-Yasha-nii-chan comes and picks her up right away, and she doesn't even argue with him.  If she is home, she's always in a _really_ _bad mood_, and gets mad at me a lot, and then she's too tired to fight for a long time anyway.  Ne, Mama?"

I gazed into my glass, then at Souta.  "It's true that your sister has been upset lately, dear, but, ah…  I think…"

Should I tell him, or not tell him?  Obviously, whatever – thing – Kagome has been fighting lately, for all this time, it's been getting stronger – strong enough so that even Inu Yasha, the hanyou that Souta thinks is the greatest fighter since _Rurouni Kenshin_, has trouble protecting her.  The two are getting tired of just fighting, day in and day out.  Souta loves his sister very much, and for that love, he deserves to know – but he's so young.  He shouldn't worry about her; as they say, he should be blissfully ignorant rather than burdened by knowledge.  It's too much to tell a ten year old.  But even though I am his mother, am I really the one to make such a decision for him?

After all, we – Kagome's family - are told very little in the first place, and that is because Kagome made the choice, for us, to be blissfully ignorant.  

I would rather be burdened with knowledge.  And so would Souta, I think.  But what can I tell him, when all I know are wisps of guesses?

"Souta, we both know that your sister fights lots of demons, right?"  He nodded, gazing up at me earnestly.

I reached out a hand and tightly grasped one of his, the one not waving around the chopsticks.  It was warm, clean, but slightly sticky.  Probably with takoyaki sauce.  "Souta, Mama thinks that whatever Kagome is fighting, it's just gotten worse.  She's more tired, that's all.  Everything's okay."

Something tells me he's not accepting my pathetic, if partially true, answer.  What tips me off - is it the look of worry on his face, or is it the fact that he's not eating anymore takoyaki?  Or do I know that he doesn't believe me, because there's no way he could when the convincer isn't convinced?

The sound of the shoji clacking open suddenly echoed throughout the house.  "Tadaima…" said Kagome, in a very tired voice.  A voice that echoed of someone who has been fighting for her life - someone who is beyond tired, in a way that cannot even be called just 'tired' anymore.

Souta slammed down his chopsticks, then dashed off to the front door.  I stood up and followed at a quick pace, but still walking.  She'd still be there if I walked - Kagome wouldn't vanish on me, after all.  People don't just lose their daughters within moments.  Yes, just keep telling yourself that.

"Nee-chan!  Nee-chan!  You're really home?" Souta yelled, running up to his sister.  There stood Kagome, in all her battered glory.  Despite the state of her clothes, she was smiling a very bright fake smile – a bit resignedly, to be sure, but very brightly all the same – at Souta.  Her black hair, longer than I remember, rested in pretty little waves down her back, although I can tell it's tangled and more than a bit messy.  She ruffled Souta on the head with one hand in the exact same motion I did earlier.  There must be something about little boys and ruffling their hair.

"Yes, Souta, I'm home.  You have takoyaki sauce all around your mouth, you'd better run and clean it up." Kagome said cheerfully, and then pushed him gently in the direction of the hallway.  

He frowned.  "But, Nee-chan, I want to talk to you!"  

She smiled very brightly again – the smile is so reminiscent of my own, it's eerie.  "Souta… one dirty person is enough around here, and that's me.  Hurry up then, okay?"  Souta scowled, but dutifully ran off in the direction of the kitchen.  The sound of running water filled the air, and Kagome cast a fond look in its direction.  She then smiled at me.  "Hi, Mama."

"Okaeri nasai," I said, smiling back at Kagome, but internally, I cringed.  There was a well-concealed bandage around her chest – I could see it through her shirt because it was so ragged and thin.  That shirt was new last time I saw her, just a month ago – Souta bought it with Ojii-chan as a present.  But I can't say anything – I know she doesn't want me to worry.

  
But how can I not, when it's difficult to tell which is thinner: her shirt or her?

But something in Kagome's looks tell me not to say a word.  The same something that hasn't let me ever say a thing.  Instead, I op for what she really wants – a closed mouth and caring actions.  Taking the enormous yellow pack from her, I asked, "Kagome, do you want to eat something, or do you want a hot bath?"  She looked up at me with a rather desperate expression of worship.  "A bath… oh, Mama, that sounds so nice!" 

I smiled cheerily at her.  "Then you just go off and have some takoyaki in the kitchen – " her entire face lit up "- and I'll prepare your bath, okay?"  Kagome beamed at me, and after giving me a brief, tight hug, and then went to the kitchen, where I heard her ask Souta if he had already eaten all of the takoyaki.  As I walked up the steps, I could see the situation in my mind – he would pretend he had already eaten her share, just so that she would get mad at him and beat him up, and he'd have exactly what he wanted – his much missed older sister.

How on earth did she carry this pack?  I wondered briefly, but then I reached her room, and threw the door open.  It was fresh and clean, but a bit stuffy – even though I cleaned her room as often as I cleaned the rest of the house, I didn't leave the windows open.  There was no one living in there to appreciate the cool breeze, so what was the point?  But now that Kagome was home, I threw open the shutters and untied the curtains, letting them sway in the chilly, winter wind.  

Walking out of her room to the bathroom, I turned on hot water, which I was sure she'd appreciate.  I poured some bubble bath in as well – it's such an odd thing, I never got used to it, but Kagome always loved it, from when she was a little girl.  As far as I know, she still does.  Returning to her bedroom, I turned back to the pack.  Undoing the fastening tie, I quickly emptied it out and made a quick mental inventory.  Clothes full of holes, a battered pair of shoes, a rain-soaked-then-sun-dried math book, a burned history book, a dirt-encrusted pair of sunglasses, a well-kept and polished bow, an excellently crafted bundle of arrows, a first-aid kit (empty except for empty bottles of anti-venom and antiseptic), a dented tin pencil case (on a whim, I opened it and found that one of the pens had exploded), an alarm clock, a portable water heater, candy, a heavy-duty sleeping bag, and a very small photo album in relatively good condition.  Curious, I took it out.  Obviously, if she wanted me to see this, she would have already – but I am desperate for whatever connections I can get to my daughter's life.  I flipped it open to the first page.

Souta, Ojii-chan, and are standing there, on the stately, ancient steps leading up to the jinja.  Ojii-chan is holding Buyo, and Souta is making a hideous sort of face at the camera – I remember that Kagome was taking the picture for her class (a report called, "My Family"), and he was making life difficult for her, and she was furious, but what could she do?  That had been her last shot of film, and after that, she ran after Souta, screaming something about cats and homework and who knows what, and I scolded her for doing that to Souta when he was only six.  Then again, she was only twelve, but she's the oldest – shouldn't she have more responsibility?

And if my thinking that caused fate to dump three loads of it in her lap, then I regret it very dearly.

The next photo is one of Kagome and her dear father; she can't be more than six in the photo, for he's holding a very precious bundle in his arms that I would recognize anywhere, and my thought is confirmed that it _must_ be Souta, because Kagome is making a rather disgusted face.  Her father, however, already looks very pale and tired – he died so soon after Souta was born… but I accepted that a very long time ago.  That had not been my first experience with death, nor, most likely, will it be my last.  I simply hope that my last encounter will be my own, and not Ka – that type of thinking gets me nowhere.

To my surprise, the next photo is of her and Inu Yasha.  I wondered briefly how Kagome took the time to take photos; I also wondered why someone had to be making a face in all of her photos.  In this one, Inu Yasha appears to be growling at the camera, and the photo is lopsided – I don't think the photographer knew how to photograph properly.  Kagome has a brilliant smile on her face.  The reason for it is obvious, though – clasping her left hand tightly is Inu Yasha's own claw.

I trace the image of Kagome and Inu Yasha with my finger – she looks just like her father before he died – the same, tired, cracked look.  Like a vase that had fallen but not quite broken, and if you touched it too roughly, it would fall apart, the pieces of it sifting through your fingers like beautiful, molten gold.  You're glad to let it go, but gods – you still want to hold its beauty, close to you.

In the next photo, Kagome is sitting up in a tree.  It looks like the type of tree that grows around the jinja - the kind with lots of limbs that are good for climbing.  She doesn't look like she's anywhere near the bottom, though – how… horrifying for me and wonderful for her.  The ground isn't visible _anywhere_ in the photo, not even in the far background.  I take that as a bad sign.  Evidently, so does the little boy on her lap - well, I'd say he was a little boy, but he has bright orange hair, a bushy tail of the same color, and fangs.  This must be Shippou, whom I've never seen but heard a little about, during one of Kagome's blatantly edited stories that Souta begs to hear.  Shippou looks extremely frightened, and is making a very odd face; perhaps he didn't like how far up they were?

In the next photo, the camera is very shaky, most likely due to the fact that the photographer near dropped the camera in the middle of the photo, probably because the branch Kagome was sitting on snapped.  The picture has the most horrific image of Kagome and Shippou falling through the branches – a wonderful action shot, but really, did she need to put this in her album?

Obviously, Kagome put that picture in the album for a reason.  Probably to always remind her of what was before the next photo, in which Inu Yasha is standing below the tree, a broken branch behind him on the ground.  In his arms is Kagome, who is shining a very affectionate look up at him.  What strikes me the most about it is that it's a real, honest smile, as I have not seen on her myself in such a long time.  His own face is rather worried and annoyed, but sheepishly happy at the same time.  I'd bet anything that he had been around the tree the entire time, not looking like he was worried, but still waiting to catch her if she fell.  As for Shippou, a young woman, dressed in a fairly casual, old-fashioned yukata is holding him by his tail – he looks unconscious.

I flipped another page, opening to a pretty shot of a beach.  This time, the young woman, who I'm assuming is the "Sango-chan" Kagome has mentioned before, is looking up at a man dressed like an old-fashioned, Buddhist priest.  I'm assuming he's Miroku, the 'sukebe bouzu' Kagome has mentioned with great zeal and affection.  But, it's obvious he's not that bad – otherwise, the girl wouldn't be looking at him with such a gentle expression of love on her face.  Perhaps it's just the sunset, shining brightly over them that makes it look like such, but it does seem that she loves him.

Naturally, _he _looks completely oblivious.  Such is a man.

There are no more pages in the photo album, and Kagome's bath must be on the verge of or past overflowing by now.  I shut the book, and then tucked it back away in the pack.  There is so much I want to know about my daughter – but it seems that I will never be allowed, because I cannot even relate to the world in which she lives.

If it would work, I would wish, but it can't, so I won't.

_~ End of section I_

  
Originally planned to be a one shot, but I never realized how annoying it really is to sift through thirty pages of writing, just to edit one little line… I split it up into sections for my own ease, so I could access scenes that I wanted to especially work on more, but I ended up posting them like that, too.

I want to thank Minako (or, if you've seen her reviewing my fics, Yumi-chan), my dearest friend.  It's through her support that really got me to finish this fic, and I'm dearly sorry that I kept spoiling things for her by begging her to hear my story ideas.  (I think I told her every single plot sequence before she even opened up the file…)  She also helped me design the youkai (she had some hysterical ideas – anyone up for a warped praying mantis?) in this story while we were waiting for the bus to take us to swim practice.  You have to love this girl – I badger her and insult her and rant and whine and god only knows what else, but she cheerfully endures it and never fails to make me smile.  Without her, this fic would be a lot worse.

And now that you've been suffocated by all the moldy cheese above, please continue on to the next part of 'Tadaima'… that is, if and when it's posted.  ^_^


	3. Tadaima: Section II - Yatto Modotte Kita...

Quick note: when Kagome is talking about the beginning of the new school year, I'm not being dumb when she says that it starts in the winter.  In Japan, the long vacation (the two-month summer vacation for most U.S. students like me) is in the winter, while the short one is in the summer.  Their school year also starts in the winter.  However, I completely made up the stuff about when the High School Entrance Results are posted, because I sure don't know.  ^_^; Anyway, if you're asking why I bothered to mention this in the first place, it's because the four month detail is important for the fic.  (Now you're going to hit the back button, thinking, 'Why on earth would four stinking months be important?'  Ah, well.)

Tadaima – Written by Kylara

Section II: Yatto Modotte Kita Yo 

[I've Finally Come Home]

Standard Disclaimer Applies

  
~

At dinner that night, Ojii-chan had taken it upon himself to order Chinese take-out food.  Souta was noisily crunching on pan-fried noodles, Kagome was picking at her dish, and Ojii-chan looked as if he was…

"Ne, Jii-chan…" said Souta, swallowing a last gulp of chow mein.  "You look like you're planning something."  We all peered at Ojii-chan, and he coughed.

"Well, my dear grandson," he started, "I have been contemplating my mortal eternity.  I am getting old, and I will not be on this earth forever…"

Kagome moaned.  "Oh, Jii-chan, are you going to talk about your burial again?  We don't need to hear that!"

Ojii-chan cast her a condescending, smug look that made Kagome roll her eyes.  "No, of course not!  I have already finished the plans for _that_-" Kagome and Souta breathed a visible sign of relief "-and instead, I am discussing – eh hem – a contest to decide _my heir to the jinja!_"

We blinked at Ojii-chan, who was looking very pleased with our silence.  Then displeased.  
  
"Well?" he said, peering expectantly at Kagome and Souta.  "Aren't you two going to start arguing over who's going to be the heir?  The one to learn the most mystical powers from me?"

Kagome shoved a scallop in her mouth.  "Jii-chan, you've been watching those soap operas again, haven't you?  The ones Ujiko-san lent you, with the pickled radishes.  Aren't I right?"  Ojii-chan's jaw dropped, aghast.  "I never got the idea from _those_ dramas!  But, Kagome, I've forgotten about _those _- that was over a year ago anyway…" she winced – I suppose that was a cheerful little reminder of how little time she spends here, but he continued, oblivious.  "I got the theory from those little novels with the naked people, surrounded by old western clothes on the cover!  Shocking, really." 

Kagome's eyes widened, in stark contrast to the rest of her pale face.  "You've been reading romance novels, Jii-chan?"

"Is that what they're called?"

We blinked at him like a school of fish.  Even I hadn't known that, and I'm the one who cleans the house.

Souta shrugged it off, shoving more noodles in his mouth.  "Kagome can be the 'heir'.  I want to be a soccer player, and compete in the Olympics as part of the J-team!  You can't do that if you're heir to a jinja, you know."  I coughed, and he quickly added, "Oh, and a doctor, too, since Mama wants that.  But not an heir to a jinja – sorry, Jii-chan."

Ojii-chan's jaw dropped.  "But – but – you're the _boy!_  You're _supposed_ to be the heir!  How is the Higurashi name going to be taken on?  For goodness' sake, I had to badger your father for ages so that he would take on my family name, and now you're telling me you don't _want_ to carry it on?"

Tapping her fingers sharply on the table, Kagome glared at Ojii-chan.  "If you were planning on making Souta 'heir to the jinja' in the first place, why on earth did you mention a contest?"  She asked sharply.  Ojii-chan flinched.

Souta slurped up a noodle with a loud, squishy noise.  "Besides, Jii-chan, I don't have any power at all, right?  Kagome, by amounts of power, should be the 'heir', right?"

Ojii-chan made an offended, clucking noise.  "You certainly do have power!  You're my grandson!  I _sense_ it in you!  You're of the Higurashi line!  You're –" he was interrupted by Kagome loudly setting her chopsticks down onto the table.  She took a very good, long, piercing look at Ojii-chan.  He squirmed, Souta smirked, and I was only glad that I wasn't at the receiving end of it.  Moments later, though, Kagome turned the same piercing look on Souta, who fidgeted uncomfortably.  Momentarily, she turned it on me, and I flinched myself.  Her eyes were glowing very slightly – not in such an obvious way, like in movies, but in an amazingly thorough way that I thought was beyond her sixteen years.  But, whatever she was looking for, it didn't take long at all to finish searching.  Looking away, she picked up her chopsticks, stabbed a shrimp and a mouthful of rice with amazing fierceness, and shoved it in her mouth.  Her mouth full, she spotted us staring at her.

She swallowed.  "What?" she asked, seemingly oblivious to why we were watching her.   

Souta coughed.  "Eh, Nee-chan, why were you looking at us like that?"

Kagome gave a little mysterious, half sort of smile.  "Oh, no reason at all, Souta.  I was just checking to see if we had all eaten without being messy.  Mama, I'm going up to my room.  I have a little – er, work, and studying to do, because I want to go to school tomorrow, okay?  Is that okay, Mama?  Gochosousama!"  Without waiting for an answer, she pushed back her chair and carried her dishes to the sink.  As she turned to go upstairs, the little glass-like orb hanging around her neck on a shell-chain glinted brightly in the light – but when she walked into the darkness of the hall, it was still shining. 

Souta and Ojii-chan were staring blankly after her.  After a few moments, Ojii-chan turned back to look at Souta.  "You know, on second thought, I think I'll make Kagome's husband take our name.  What do you think?"  
  
Souta blinked.  "I hope it'll work, 'cause otherwise I'm stuck doing this."  

I'm thinking that 'Higurashi Inu Yasha' sounds incredibly stupid and that it's never going to happen.

After Souta helped me with the dishes, I went upstairs to Kagome's room.  Knocking on it, I asked, "Kagome-chan?  Can I come in?"

A dull "haaaaai" answered me, so I opened the door.  Kagome was sitting at her desk, which had her burnt history book open to pages with unreadable, faded text.  She looked up at me, and smiled that little half-smile of hers that she'd been doing all evening.  I'm beginning to think I'd rather see her scream at me, rather than flash half of nothing at me as an excuse for a smile.

"Yes, Mama?  I'm studying right now – Yuka called and told me we have a history test," she said, hinting politely that I shouldn't take long.  Her right hand was holding a mechanical pencil quite tightly, while her left was resting gracefully on the table.  Such a pretty, thin hand – it's a stupid cliché that people with pretty hands shouldn't mar them, but I think it applies to her.  My daughter.  Mine.

Ignoring her hint, I smiled gently as I shut the door.  "Kagome-chan, I just wanted to ask you very quickly so I don't bother you.  You weren't checking us for food stains at dinner, were you?"

Her eyes focused sharply on a point above my head.  Slightly unnerved, I barged ahead.  "Were you checking to see if we had any power, like Jii-chan said we did?"

She looked into my eyes, and smiled.  "You picked that up very quickly, Mama.  I should have known.  Yes, I was.  Kaede-baa-chan is teaching me how to read _kehai_ right now, and unless blocked, they will show if the person has magic or not."

I raised an eyebrow.  "Do we?"

Kagome shook her head.  "Well, sort of.  Souta has no power at all, and, Mama, neither do you," she paused.  That's something I already knew, though.  Seeing the unsurprised look on my face, she continued, "and if you're wondering, the ofuda Jii-chan uses actually have a bare minimum of power, and he's just able to use their power.  Jii-chan himself is virtually dead in the spiritual power area."  She hesitated, but continued, "There are…in his kehai, there are some very faint traces of what might have been some power.  I'm not very good at this, so I'm not sure, but I think when he was much younger, if he did have power, it vanished because he made a mistake while doing something – either that, or some sort of spell was put on him.  I think it was the latter though, because the Higurashi bloodline hasn't been strong for hundreds and hundreds of years, has it?"            

I nodded, and neglected to mention that _she_ has power streaming out of her ears, and she's most definitely a Higurashi.  "But, Kagome, what do you mean by a spell?"

She pursed her lips tightly.  I clenched my hands together on the folds of her blanket, and thought a silent prayer – let her tell me let her tell me let her tell me lethertellmelethertellme…

Kagome sighed.  "Well, even if you age, your power just doesn't 'go away'.  It only goes away if there are some – circumstances – and old age isn't one of them.  It grows, if anything.  I think that when Jii-chan was very, very young – I mean, not even into double-digit ages yet – somebody put a very harmless spell on Jii-chan.  Over the years, it's worn away to the point where it's still effective, but I can't tell what it even did.  It might have also blocked whatever power he did have, which couldn't have been a lot, but I doubt it.  It's very rare in this day and age, Mama."

An odd, old memory came into my mind, but I waved it away for the moment.  "Thank you for telling me that, Kagome-chan.  I always want to hear about what you do in the Sengoku Jidai – you never tell me or Souta or Ojii-chan anything, and we do worry about you."  A flash of guilt passed in and out of her eyes.  Looking at me intently, she said softly, "I'll… I'll… I …" 

My hopes rose.  Then they crashed.

"I'll get back to studying now, ok, Mama?  I shouldn't be keeping you.  Good night for now, Mama!" she exclaimed, beaming another one of those 'smiles' at me.  I smiled back.  _Why won't you tell me?_  I very nearly screamed.  But instead, all that I said was a sweet, "Goodnight, Kagome-chan!"

I shut the door.  It was fine.  It really was.  I had work to do anyway – office work, putting Souta to bed, and interrogating Ojii-chan.

An hour later, I had accomplished the first two, and was looking rather forward to the third.  At Ojii-chan's room, I rapped smartly on it with my knuckles.  Like when I was a little girl, I thought amusedly to myself.  "Ojii-chan?  May I come in?" I called.  He snorted.

Opening the door, I saw him sitting at his desk, rummaging through some papers.  As I looked around the room, I noticed the box of ofuda sitting next to his bed, within easy reach on his dresser.  Always so paranoid, when there's nothing there.

"Ojii-chan?  I wanted to ask you something."

He looked at me suspiciously.  "What would that be?"

"Do you remember what you told me when I was pregnant with Kagome-chan?"

He looked at me oddly.  "What kind of question is that?  I don't think I remember all my conversations with you, you know.  If you can give me an event, you know, maybe I can come up with something.  Otherwise, no."

Fine.  "When my husband and I were choosing names for our baby girl, you suggested Kagome, right off the bat.  I asked you why, and you told me a reason, something that happened to you when you were a little boy.  You said you didn't remember, but that it would 'come back to you'.  Do you remember yet?"

Ojii-chan's face crashed.  "Oh, no, I don't remember.  It really annoys me why I don't remember, but I suppose there's nothing that can be done about it.  Just a bit, I remember.  Kagome – fine, fine name.  Belonged to a fine girl, too, from what I remember, but my memory is very blurred when it concerns her.  I don't even remember the way she looked…" He was silent for a moment, then looked up at me and said, "Ah, one day I'll definitely remember.  I've tried everything, you know, but nothing works."  He paused again.  "Mama, I'll think about it.  Why'd you ask, though?" He looked at me suspiciously.  

I paused.  "Oh, nothing, Ojii-chan." I replied in a blithe, happily fake voice.  A Kagome voice.  "Oyasumi nasai!"

He grunted at me, and I quietly shut the door.

~

The next morning, Kagome had school, of course.  Since it was Saturday, it was only a half-day, but according to Yuka (who had called later the previous night), their homeroom teacher was having a mock-exam: all period long.  The horror, I'm sure.

As she sat at the table, eating breakfast (Souta was sleeping; his elementary's water system was broken, so he didn't have school), I sat down across from her.  Outside, leaves were falling from the trees in the wind, floating to the ground where crumbles of already dead ones lay.

I took a long sip from my cup of tea.  "Kagome?  When did you say your exam results from the entrance exam are going to be posted?"

Kagome paused, her chopsticks halfway to her mouth, a piece of crisp daikon trapped between the lacquered wood.  "Hmmm… I think they'll be posted in this week, Mama.  School starts again in about… little more than four months."

I hmmmed back.  "That's nice, Kagome.  How do you think you did?"

Kagome cast a darkly humorous look at me.  "Mama, with me always in the Sengoku Jidai, how well do you _think _I did?"

I laughed, as I was meant to.  "Is that really something you should be telling your mother, Kagome?" she laughed, too, then stuffed the daikon in her mouth.  "But are you happy to finally be home?"

She shoved a bit of dried seaweed in her mouth.  "'Finally home', huh…" she said softly.  "Home is where your heart is, right, Mama?" she said, staring off out the window.

I'm not sure this is safe ground for a conversation.  "Yes, dear.  And… this is home for you, isn't it?"

Kagome stood suddenly, and began to stack her dishes.  "Isn't it, Kagome?" I said nervously.  She turned, and smiled kindly down at me.  As if I was the child, and she the mother, giving the lesson.  When did it come to this point?  Bending down, she gave me a hug.

"For part of me, it always will be, Mama.  After all, you and Jii-chan and Souta are here, right?  I love you all, and you're all here, with part of my heart.  And this is home.  That's okay, isn't it?" she said cheerfully, shining a pretty smile at me.  

There is nothing I can say to that.  "Of course, Kagome.  I see what you're saying." I said cheerfully.  _I don't understand. _"Let me do the dishes, okay?  You need to get to school, don't you?" 

Kagome nodded.  "Is it okay if I'm home a little late today?  The girls want to go out with me to ice cream after school."  

No, darn it.  I want to keep you to myself.  Because, maybe, soon, perhaps, I won't have that time with you anymore.  "Of course, Kagome.  You haven't seen your friends for a long time, have you?" I said, smiling brightly at her.  She smiled back, and with that, left to go get her bag from upstairs.  Moments later, I heard the sound of rushing water as she brushed her teeth, and a bit later, I heard the shoji slide open.  

"Itekimasu, Mama!" she said brightly.

"Itadarashai, Kagome!" I called back cheerfully.

The shoji clicked shut.

And I buried my face in my hands and began to cry.

~ _End of section II_

Heh.  Quick note: I use metal chopsticks at home, but when I was having dinner with some of my friends, they were shocked.  "Metal?  Metal chopsticks _exist_?" and then they proceeded to examine the aforementioned hunks of metal with great care.  I was highly amused.  The point is, most of my friends use lacquered wooden chopsticks at their homes (…that is, the ones that use chopsticks at all), so that's what Kagome is using – I went for the mode.  But I like my metal chopsticks, naturally.  (You would not believe how many regular, cheap wooden ones – the kind you get at restaurants – I've broken.)

Daikon is just radish – but I don't mean the purple-white kind.  If that was what it was, I'd just say radish, but the kind that Kagome sometimes eats when she's at home (the same kind that her Jii-chan got from 'Ujiko-san') is this yellow type.  I don't know how to explain.  It has an interesting taste, and if it's good, it's fairly crispy - though my mother has force-fed it to me on more than one occasion.  (That isn't because it's bad, it's because I don't usually voluntarily ingest vegetables.  So bite me.)

I apologize for the lack of action in these chapters.  I was saving it for the next one (which really isn't that action-packed in itself).  This is just not an action fic.  I am not really an action writer.  The next one is the really angst-y one, the one where all the stuff to really _cause_ angst happens.  (So far, Kagome's mother is just being angst-y because she's a bit paranoid - with good reason, naturally.)  Section IV is just depressing, plain and simple.  ^_^ Damn, I'm looking forward to writing those.

First draft fully completed February 3, 2002

And the irony of writing a fic like this is that it's my mother's birthday today!  Happy birthday to my mother, who will surely not read this, but I wish her it all the same. 

Oh, and dear god – Section III – "Itekimasu & Sayonara" will never be posted.  There's a fight scene with a youkai that I need, but I've been unable to write it because I haven't thought of a youkai.

No, scratch that.  I've thought of _tons_ of different youkai.

They're just all already used.

I thought of a moth.  I was _this_ close to writing the chapter.

Then I watched episode 52 and 53.

Then I thought of a lizard.

Then I saw the preview for episode 54.

My friends and I thought of fish.

There's no water around the jinja.

I am _this_ close to just screwing it and writing the moth youkai anyway.  Hope for me that I think of a youkai soon, because until I do, no ficcy.  

Review if you feel like it, don't review if you don't.


	4. Tadaima: Section III - Itekimasu

Tadaima – Written by Kylara

Section III: Itekimasu

Standard Disclaimers Apply

I really, really want to watch John Q.  And those of you who helpfully suggested youkai in my reviews… you're going to wonder what I was thinking when you read what youkai I did use.

And I haven't updated this in awhile, have I?  Many apologies.  Difficult chapter, other stories, The Real World.

Language!  Inu Yasha is a potty mouth.  You were warned.

~

Souta came downstairs later after I was done crying, and he cast an odd, slightly curious look at me.

"Yes, Souta?" I said placidly, smiling at him cheerfully.

He scrunched up his face a bit, as if he was thinking of something very hard that he just couldn't place.

"You know, Mama," he said, after a long pause.  "Your smile looks just like Kagome-nee-chan's does lately."  Sipping innocently from a cup of juice, he walked back out of the kitchen, leaving me staring after him.

~

Later, while I was sweeping the temple grounds, Kagome came tromping up the steps, her school case dangling loosely from her fingers.  Waving a cheery goodbye at her friends standing at the bottom, she grinned, and then dashed off towards me.  As she came closer, I swung a quick look at her friends who were waving back, but not half as cheerily.  In fact, they exchanged depressed, concerned looks, then, with a last wave, walked away.

With a cheerful bounce in her step, Kagome walked up to me, and swung her briefcase behind her shoulder.  "Tadaima, Mama.  Do you want me to sweep that for you?" she asked, holding out a hand for the broom.

Shaking my head, I replied, "No, Kagome, that's fine.  Did you have a nice time with your friends?"

Her lips twitched upwards slightly.  "Yes, Mama, I did," she said, apparently deciding to skip over the reason for her funny grin, "and I'm going to put my bag away and bring Souta and Jii-chan out here, okay, Mama?  I need to talk to everyone before Inu Yasha takes me ho- back to the Sengoku Jidai tonight."

My mouth suddenly went dry, but I gave a weak smile at Kagome despite it.  "A-ano… Kagome-chan, Jii-chan isn't here right now.  He went across town to the Tsukimine Jinja.  He won't be back until tomorrow.  He's having a long visit with a miko who lives there."

She looked down at the ground for a moment, and I saw her frown.  Breathing in deeply, Kagome then looked back up at me and, with that funny little smile, said lightly, "Well, Mama, that's fine.  I'm going to get Souta then, okay?  Is he sleeping?" And without waiting for a response, she walked over to the house, slid the shoji open, took off her shoes, and went inside, closing the entrance again.

"Take your time," I whispered, looking away from the house.  I looked down at my hands, which were barely holding up the broom.  Sighing in exasperation, I walked over to the work shed to put it away – I wasn't getting any work done.

I slid open the shoji, and instead of being greeted by the puff of warm, musty air that I was expecting, my short hair flew back by a blast of cold, wet wind.  On instinct, I put my hands up to my face, still holding the broom, and was instantly knocked back several feet.  It's an odd sensation, flying through the air – it lasted only the briefest of movements before I landed hard onto the ground, skidding to a stop over ten feet away from the shed.

And out of the entrance floated out something I never thought to see hovering in the air in Tokyo: a jellyfish.  If I had been asked three days earlier, I would have said that jellyfish were, at most, a little bigger than Kagome's head.

I seem to be wrong very often lately.

It floated through the air, ominously flashing colors of silver, white and red, its many tentacles trailing behind it in an almost pretty display.  It was a transparent, but a cloudy, gray color, and from its mouth under the curvy umbrella, blew wet air in a fiery sort of storm.

It then spun around, and against my better judgment (since it had no eyes), I think it looked at me.

The next moment, I was sure it had looked at me because it suddenly made a spinning dive straight at me.

So, since I was facing down a mad jellyfish, I did what anyone in my position would have done.

With a scream, I whacked it with my broom.

In a moment, the wooden handle began to melt, and I dropped what little was left in a panic, watching the greasy acid melt away from the wood to the concrete.  The pavement then collapsed quite neatly into itself, sinking lower into the ground.

If this is the type of thing Kagome fought everyday in the Sengoku Jidai…  for pity's sake, why is she so eager to go back there?

To my surprise, the jellyfish had actually flown back about ten feet away, then made an abrupt 360 degree pivot in the air, its tentacles streaming out behind it.  Through it, I could see the slightly blurry Goshinboku, the prayer rope around it waving in the jellyfish-created breeze.  Oh, dear.  I hope it doesn't break the tree.

What am I thinking of the tree for?

Furiously, the jellyfish prepared to hurl itself at me again, its tentacles stretching and pulling in on itself, the wind flowing in heavy currents all around it.  I started to pull myself up, then fell back to the ground with a painful thud.

My legs were not only scraped up from the fall I had taken earlier, my left leg was, from what I could tell, either sprained or broken.  Either way, I couldn't walk.  And, of course, the jellyfish was coming.

To my relief, it didn't suddenly charge at me.  Instead, from its – mouth – it suddenly let loose a swarm of miniature jellyfish, all swarming and flying around, bumping into each other quite madly.

Then they all swiveled around at the exact same moment to look quite intently at me.

They poised to dive.

I poised to die.

Then, Kagome and Souta came walking around the corner, and stopped in their tracks as they saw a swarm of jellyfish and – well, me.  With a little scream, Kagome threw herself in front of me with a thud.  My eyes widened.  "K… Kagome?"

She didn't look at me, but hurled a commanding look at Souta instead.  "_Souta!_  Hurry and get my bow and arrows from my room!"  When he didn't move, she pointed at the jellyfishes, which were staring blankly at her.  "_Now_!"  With that order, Souta ran off.

  
And the miniature army, under direction of their commander, dove at us.

I was about to scream, but then I caught a look at Kagome.  Her worried, pained countenance as her skirt fluttered in the wind, her hair whipping back and forth, sometimes a wayward strand getting stuck in her mouth, only to blow back out again.

And then, I saw it.

Her lips moved, breathing a word.  A name.

"Inu Yasha," they said silently, and with that, a change came over my daughter.  She was suddenly standing straighter, taller, and braver than she had already been before.  And she's smiling, so brightly; a dear smile, so precious to me, one that I have not seen in so long.

My earlier question is answered.

He is why she's so eager to fight.  He is what drives her forward.

My mouth tastes bitter, and it's not from the blood that is seeping from my bitten lip.

And as the jellyfish dove, she threw up her hands at them, and, as she gritted her teeth, a tsunami of rose-colored light washed out from her palms, seething furiously against the attackers.  With as little effort as they had been born, the jellyfish disintegrated into ash, lifting up into the wind. 

She breathed a sigh of relief, then looked at the gigantic jellyfish, which hissed at her, air rushing out of its one hole.  "I can do it," she whispered gratefully.  "I protected her…"

Her.  Me, I realized with an unpleasant start.  She was protecting me.  When I want to protect her, I am protected.

And as the gigantic jellyfish suddenly hissed, "Shi-kon no TA-MA!" at her, she stood bravely, the slightest of smiles on her face as she prepared to fight.

Then it multiplied, dividing into two pieces that grew as large as it had before without the slightest pause.

Without blinking, she held out one hand, seemingly waiting for something.  On cue, Souta skittishly ran up, clutching her bow and arrows as if they were his life.  And they could very well save it.  Taking the bow from him, Kagome slung the arrows over her shoulder.

Then she ran for it. 

The jellyfish were as confused as me, but while they stayed still, Souta began to drag me away to the side of the house, where I was free to watch in horror as they regained their senses, and began to fly after her.

But not until she was on the other side of the grounds, over fifty yards away.

And then, right in front of the well house, she skidded to a stop, and as the dirt flew up around her, she took out another arrow and let it loose.

At first, it was only an ordinary arrow, if any arrow shot by my peaceful daughter could be 'ordinary'.  But within milliseconds, it warped into an outrageous cyclone of rose-highlighted light, blinding in its purity and wrath.  With frightening accuracy, it slammed into one of the large jellyfish, blasting it into fine dust that scattered into the wind.

The slight smile on her lips grew wider, and she notched another arrow onto her bow, and took aim.

The smile dropped off as soon as the other jellyfish divided again, almost instantly – and both of those halves divided, again and again, until there were far more than thirty enormous jellyfish, all swirling darkly less than thirty yards away from her.  Although most of them were relatively the same size, one of them was larger than the others, and stood out from its position behind the others, violet streaking down its hood.

Kagome narrowed her eyes, and, surprising me and scaring Souta, let loose a yell, finally dropping the beautiful, graceful image that she had made.  In a rush, she began to shoot arrows madly at an approaching wave of a dozen of the jellyfish, which dodged best they could, the others lingering behind to observe.

Jellyfish exploded into dust all over, but still, four were left - and as they dove at her at too close a range for arrows, I didn't even have time to scream before she, grasping her bow tightly, slapped them across with it, bright light glowing all around her.

A tactical error.  I bit my lip in horror.  The jellyfish exploded, but their acid dripped onto the bow.  Too late, she dropped it with a hiss, acid seeping into her hands.  I could hear her choke back a sob, and I felt the color drain away from my face as I looked at her hands, sore and bloody.  Next to me, Souta made a choked sound, and plunked down on the ground in horror.

The other jellyfish – all twenty of them, took this as a chance, and began their wave of attacks.  Like fighter jets, always in waves of attacks.

Standing straight, Kagome braced herself for it, and held her bloody hands before her, already sparking with power.  But her right leg faltered, and I noticed a dark, nasty bruise staining the calf, but it looked a day or two old.

I didn't see that before.  Why didn't she show it to me?

Gods, it's not fair.

And in the next instant, as the jellyfish flew, I felt her life flash before my eyes.  My life.

"**_Kaze no KIZU!_**"

Pouring out from the well house, waves of energy carved jagged canyons in the grounds of my jinja.  With a blast, they slammed into every single one of the jellyfish, excepting the large, boss one.

With a boom, the well house doors exploded off, and a furious Inu Yasha burst out, fury written all over his face, and the largest katana I have ever seen in my life swung casually over his shoulder.

Beside me, Souta nearly jumped up and down, narrowly missing my injured leg.  "Mama!" he said frantically, and pointed at Inu Yasha.  "It's Inu-no-nii-chan, come to save us!"

Holding his katana in front of him, Inu Yasha's eyes narrowed at the remaining jellyfish.  "Hey, bastard," Inu Yasha growled, staring murderously at the youkai.  "What the fuck are you messing around here for?"

The jellyfish swung around to peer at him, and I was surprised to see something that resembled eyes flicker open.  "_Shikon no tama… koko da… Shikon no tama!" _it hissed, then with a whoosh, instantly blew a gust of cold hair, knocking Inu Yasha over. 

Swelling, the jellyfish then threw a load of acid at Inu Yasha, who leapt up and dodged out of the way just in time.  He landed all the way next to Kagome, and immediately kneeled next to her, automatically bringing up his arm to support her back.  She winced when he grabbed her wrist, and he scowled darkly at her, even as he picked her up to dodge a blow from the jellyfish.  Setting her down some yards away, he opened his mouth – presumably to scold – but she ignored him, and strode forward, waving a hand at him to stay away.

"Oi, jellyfish!"  It wavered in the air, and she sighed.  "You want the Shikon no tama I have, don't you?"  It bobbled in response.

"Then come here and get it!  Osuwari!" and with that, Inu Yasha slammed to the ground, and the jellyfish headed toward her.

Swerving her bloody hands in front of her, she nearly fell over, but, making another determined stance, stood her ground.  As the jellyfish dove at her, another massive wave of rose light exploded out from her hands, immediately disintegrating the youkai into dust.  Sighing, she collapsed onto the ground.

Inu Yasha was instantly at her, before Souta or I could even twitch.

"You _stupid_ bitch!" he yelled furiously, glaring at her with a murderous stare, far worse than the jellyfish.  "What the hell did you think you were doing?  Fucking messing with that fish, when you've got bruises all over and blood pouring out from your hands!  Why the hell didn't you get me?  And what the hell was that osuwari for?  Do you have _any_ intelligence, Kagome?"

But even as he shot these insults at her, he was gently checking her for injuries, one claw skimming the bruise on her leg, the other carefully turning her hands over, checking the wound.  Gently, he then picked her up, as easily if she was a pillow.  She looked up at him with a slightly amused look.  "You looked like you were going to use _sankon tetsusou_, and it would've burned your hands."  He snorted unappreciatively at that.  "And I could've sworn that I told you not to come back," she finished quietly, but it was dead silent in the jinja, and I could hear very well.

He snorted again.  "What, just stay there when I could smell barrels of your blood reeking through the well?  Hell, Kagome, what kind of guy do you think I am?"

She whispered something that even I couldn't hear, and he sighed.  "Alright.  Let me bring you in the house, and then I'll get your mother, okay?"

I blinked.  How on earth did he notice that, while in his own world with her?  His world, with Kagome, the one that I cannot breach.  And which I would never be forgiven for if I did.

Kagome smiled gratefully.  Leaning up, she kissed him on the cheek, then rested her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes.  He turned slightly red, but didn't look at all inclined to let go.  And, very slowly, he walked to the house, cradling his precious bundle in his arms, leaving Souta and I staring after him.

~

As he said, he came back moments later, and quickly picked me up (after asking for permission rather nervously), and put me on a reclining chair, which he somehow knew to extend.  Souta called our doctor, who agreed to come and visit us, since we had this 'chemical accident' at our home and simply could not move.

My left ankle was sprained, and would recover in a month's time.  Kagome, the doctor told me, had nasty acid burns on her hands, but they would heal if she put a salve on them every day and bandaged them and et cetera.  Inu Yasha hid in Souta's room while the doctor was over, but as soon as he had gone, he had dashed off to Kagome's room, where I could hear him interrogating her on the quality of her treatment.

Like a mother hen, clucking, like I used to.  Or an anxious husband.

Kagome had gone up to rest – her leg was painfully sore, I suppose from her jumping around – and Souta was sleeping, so it surprised me when I heard a noise from outside.  Warily, I got up, and hobbled to the window nearest to where I heard the sound, near the Goshinboku.

There, sitting on the bench, was Kagome, and across from her was Inu Yasha, standing next to the holy tree.

My vision dimmed until only they filled it, encompassing my mind in a brightly startling way.

They weren't sitting together, and they weren't looking at each other.  But you couldn't call them anything but a couple, because that was what they were.  There was some electric connection between them, brightness, shining like an odd light bulb, all despite the comfortable silence accompanying them.  The most beautiful connection I had felt, or seen, since the one I had experienced with my own husband.

But when they broke it, the wind was blowing towards me, and I heard every word.

"Did you tell them?" he said quietly, staring blankly up at the branches of the tree.

She shook her head.

"Why not?" he asked, just as quietly as before, sounding absolutely calm.  But the clenching of one claw gave him away.

She paused, looking down at her bandaged hands.  "I couldn't," she said, her voice thick and choked.  "I just couldn't.  Jii-chan isn't here, and I wanted to tell him, too, and …"

Inu Yasha sighed, and sat down, leaning his head against the Goshinboku.  "You're babbling, Kagome."

She looked up at him, and sighed.  "I… we have to go back tonight, don't we?"

I flinched at that.

He nodded, looking solemn.  "I'm sorry, Kagome, but with the way things are, you only had that one night, and today.  We've got to go back.  Miroku was getting worse when I left, and… you know that with what happened to Kohaku, Sango isn't… if… if Miroku … if he… well…" his voice trailed off, and he looked down at the ground.

Kagome nodded at that, her own eyes tearing up slightly.  "I understand, Inu Yasha," she said softly, and stood up from the bench.  She began to limp lightly back towards the house, but Inu Yasha reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him.  She looked at him for a moment, then promptly buried her face into his shoulder and began to weep.  He clasped her hair tightly with one gentle hand, and with his other, held her close.  As the sun dimmed away, they remained standing, the last two people of the world. 

  
I hobbled away at that point, because my heart hurt.  Dinner, I suppose.

  
~

Half an hour later, Kagome came downstairs – I suppose Inu Yasha had carried her upstairs rather than use the stairs.  

"Mama?" she said softly, and I opened my eyes, although even with them closed, I had known the instant she had entered the room.  "Mama, I have to leave now."

Instantly, I got up.  "Would you like some snacks then, Kagome?  I made some for when you left again…" my voice trailed off as she shook her head.  "Thank you, Mama," she said in a mollifying voice, "but I already took some.  I said goodbye to Souta, so I'll leave now, okay?  Tell Jii-chan I love him."   
  


I opened my mouth to protest, but she was already giving me good-bye hug.  _Why can't you say anything_?

In my mind, I smacked myself.  Kagome was going to be returning.  I was imagining things.  If I keep imagining that Kagome doesn't intend to return here, I'm going to think it's true.  What has she said, done, to imply that she wouldn't return here?

Nothing, I answered myself.  She thinks she's going to return.  I know she's going to return, because I… she'd tell me if she wasn't.  I wouldn't forgive her if she didn't, because she is my daughter.  I deserve to know.

She gave me a cheerful smile, her eyes bright and warm.  And slightly flat.  "I love you, Mama.  S… sayonara!" she said brightly, and with that, a silent Inu Yasha carried her out.

"Itadarashai," I called out on instinct, even as the shoji shut.

Have a safe trip.  _Okairi nasai_, for when she comes home.  _Itadarashai_ for when she leaves.

And when she comes home, she says _tadaima_.  When she leaves, she says _itekimasu_.

… _itekimasu_…

  
The word is suddenly burning in my mind.

… _Sayonara_, she said.

These words mean two completely different things.

So why did she say _sayonara_ instead of _itekimasu_?

Sayonara is farewell.

Permanent.  Not a casual goodbye that you'd say to someone you'd see in a few days.

It's something you'd say to someone you wouldn't see for a long time.

Something you might say to someone you wouldn't ever see again.

She wouldn't dare do such a thing.  I would stop her.  I hurled myself out of my chair, and despite the screaming of my leg, ran out of the house, towards the well.

I threw open the shoji doors, just in time to see Inu Yasha and Kagome, about to jump down.  My daughter's eyes widened.  "M… Mama!  Why are you here?'

My mouth moved, but no words came out.  Finally, I forced my voice to work, and something croaked out.  "Kagome.  Why did you say goodbye?  Why didn't you say _itekimasu_?"

She winced.  "M… Mama… I didn't mean…" 

There was a painful stinging behind my eyes.  "You didn't mean to what?  Aren't… aren't you going to come back, Kagome?"

There was a long silence as her eyes filled with tears.

And so did mine.

"Kagome!" I exclaimed, wincing at the weeping sound that was my voice.  "Kagome… aren't you, Kagome?"

Another silence filled the air.

"I don't know, Mama.  Is… I…just… is that _okay_?"

And with that, she looked desperately at me, her eyes fearing my disapproval, my anger.  If I said so, she might not leave.  She might stay here, where she could date her silly boyfriends and be nagged by her silly mother and bored to death by her little brother.

But it wouldn't be where her heart would be.  It wouldn't be her home.

And so she still wouldn't smile, would only flash that half of nothing at me, would only be half living, half my daughter.

I'd rather die.  

I couldn't say a thing.  Anything I had planned to say, any guilt trips to keep her here, any ultimatums, vanished into air.

She could never stay.

And even if she would, she would never be the one I've been so desperately wanting.  The one whose smile I haven't seen in months, whose eyes light up in laughter without having darkness flutter behind them, the one whose neck is bare of tainted jewelry.

But the person she is now, the one who fulfills all those requirements – they are both my daughter, and I love her.

And she's worried, because of me.  Because of the way I've been acting.  So selfish, because I am her mother.

"It's okay," I whispered.

_I want you to come back._

"I understand," I continued.  "Because even if I never see you again, you'll live, Kagome."

_Live without your mother, Kagome._

"That's enough for me."

_I do want you to return._

Her eyes widened slightly, in hope.  "Live," I said, this time more loudly, and reached out a hand to caress her soft, slim cheek, which had baby fat only a few days ago.

_But you can't._

"Kagome," I said, the salty tears that leaked into my smile bitter on my tongue.  "Can you please just promise me that?"

_So I won't keep you here._

She began to cry herself, her tears sliding down my fingers.  "I don't know, Mama.  I don't know if I'll be alive!"  At that, Inu Yasha stood up a little straighter, and scowled slightly.

_Because I love you._

My beautiful daughter is afraid.  But she's still going.  And she'll be protected, my brave, wonderful daughter.

_Loving you doesn't mean I need to keep you here._

I've never been happier in my life, even as I've never been sadder.  She is so much the core of my life, and I have to willingly let her go.

_Kagome, Kagome.  It's evening.  Fly away._

"Live," I whispered, and bent over to kiss her on the cheek.  _Be happy._

_If these words comfort you, then I'll tell them to you.  Because I've always understood things that you couldn't, and helped you through them.  You do this now, but I can still do it for you, one last time.  Because you don't understand this.  Not yet._

_You need to live._

~

"Mama, what are you doing?"

"Praying."

"What are you praying for?"

"Why, I couldn't tell you, Kagome, or it would never come true."

Please don't let my husband die. 

  
-

"Mama, what are you doing?"

"Praying."

"What are you praying for?"

"Why, I couldn't tell you, Souta, or it would never come true."

_Please let my daughter_ _come home._

~

_The brightness of understanding, that blinding light._

_Shine_.

~

With a sob, she nodded.  Drawing away, Inu Yasha picked her up again, and with one last look at me, she buried her face in his chest.  He looked at me for a moment, and for the briefest of instants, I felt comprehension pass between us.

He will never let anything happen to her.

So she will live.

And with that, he jumped into the well, carrying the broken pieces of my heart with him, a half of my life.

Because I think I understand now.  That my only daughter, Higurashi Kagome, died a little while ago, when she went to a different world and became a different person, one that smiles sadly and laughs with the darkness behind her.

This person was my new daughter, and she came to me in place of my last one, whom I never mourned because I didn't understand that she was gone.

  
And this new daughter of mine that I loved so dearly can never keep the promise she just made, for she has already died – when I let her go.

When I let her go, this past night.  She is dead; died in order to live in the place that she could regain the happiness she once had, in her past life, when she was my daughter, Higurashi Kagome, at the same place she died.

Gods, I miss her already.

~ _fin_

The End.

Nah, just kidding.  Part IV is next, plus the side stories.  Fun, fun.  And that will end Tadaima.  Sorry it took so long, but RL kicked me in the butt, and if any of you have clicked on my author's page, you've noticed that I have three other multi-parters (including this one) _posted (_which is bad of me – Kaitou! hasn't been updated in months); I have _another_ three not posted.  Jeezus.  Well, if I can finish Tadaima, I'll be amazed.

Ah.  Real jellyfish… the only ones poisonous enough to kill humans live in the tropics (not in the waters off of Japan), and like most poisonous animals, the smaller ones are the more deadly.  The biggest jellyfish out there are about 6.6 feet across, or 2 meters.  And they all swim _under_water, thanks very much.  (This is all according to Encarta, by the way.)  They actually move fairly slowly, but… well, damn it, I wanted to write this part, so I ignored all the problems.  ^_^ Besides, it's not a real jellyfish – how many real jellyfish do you see, popping out of work sheds?  Yes, that's what I thought.  That also accounts for the little jellyfish popping out.  That doesn't happen, either.

Well, I didn't mean for Kagome's mother to sound so possessive, since she's never shown signs of that in the show.  I just wrote this fic being that she does have doubts and conflicts about it, but for Kagome's sake, hides them.  The italics lines, by the way, are meant to actually be read in succession, but I separated them for dramatic effect.

I did not forget about Souta.  Neither did his mother.

Chris Rijks's translation of an old children's play song (akin to the "Ring around the rosies" song of today) is below.  It's what I meant in that particular line, "_Kagome, Kagome.  It's evening.  Fly away."_  Although, in the game, Kagome isn't actually the bird.  Oh well.

Kagome, Kagome 

_When does the bird in side the cage_

_Come out?_

_At dawns and evenings._

_Who is in front of the back_

_Where a crane and turtle slipped and fell?_

_Kagome, Kagome_

_Kago no naka no tori wa,_

_Itsu itsu deyaru?_

_Yoake to ban ni._

_Tsuru to kame ga subetta,_

_Ushiro no shoumen dare_

http://www.wot-club.org.uk/Inuyasha/

A **big** thank you to the people who reviewed my last chapter.  This chapter was a bit rushed, despite its length – I finished it recently.  An especially big thanks to Queen (fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=39336), by the way, who's been gracious enough to beta-read some fics of mine.  This is probably useless to say, but read her fics – although if you're reading mine and somehow missed hers, that's… sad.

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!  Oh, my god, please review.  I need encouragement.  That's enough fishing, so please shoot me now.

Notes

- the youkai was saying something that roughly translates as, "Jewel of four souls… it's here… jewel of four souls!"  … yep, real creative.


End file.
